How to Walk the Never-Ending Bridge of Transition
Photo by Everaldo Coelho on Unsplash
Here we go again—back on the transition bridge. It seems like we just crossed to the other side. Will it ever end, or are changes and transitions a never-ending part of life?
Last year, our family transitioned back to our home country for a year. It was a time of serious reverse culture shock, as we had not spent that amount of time in our home culture for nearly a decade.
Our geographical transition from one continent to another set in motion a number of other transitions. Our family suddenly found ourselves facing more changes than we had expected. We not only physically changed countries, cultures, languages, and houses, but we were also transitioning in our work contexts and roles, our relationships, our educational systems, and our dreams and plans.
It wasn’t just one little transition—it felt like hundreds of big ones!
After what seemed like an eternity, we finally adjusted to the culture, the people, the food, the dress, and the climate. Our adjustment happened just in time for another major change—another major life transition for our family.
Just when we were starting to feel settled and “at home,” it was time to leave again. This time, we weren’t returning to the same country abroad where we had lived and worked for the previous ten years. Rather, we were going to another new country, new culture, and new language.
Transition, transition, transition—it’s an inevitable part of all of our lives.
Dr. Terry Walling, author of “Stuck: Navigating the Transitions of Life and Leadership,” says, “It’s not a question if you will go through transitions; rather, will transitions go through you? Will we get everything we can out of them?”
If transitions are a natural part of life that we have to navigate, how can we be best equipped to handle them well—not just survive in the midst of them, but thrive?
Photo by Sergey Fediv on Unsplash
Types of Transition
Transitions come in all shapes and sizes. They can last for three months or three years. They can be well planned, calculated, and gradual, or they can be abrupt, unexpected, and unwanted. They can be peacefully eased into or they can disrupt your life and rock your world forever.
The unplanned and unwanted transitions are often the hardest. They can be a result of tragedy (loss of a loved one, divorce, sickness, financial hardship). In the midst of deep pain and trauma, one still has to deal with all the logistics of change and transition in this difficult season.
Other more desired and planned transitions may involve geographical moves, job changes, life milestones (such as graduation from high school and university), marriage, childbirth, retirement, etc. However, even these exciting and planned transitions involve a lot of changes and challenges.
What are the Stages of Transition?
Every new transition is preceded by an “ending”—the ending of a life season, a relationship, a job, or a geographical situation.
“We have to let go of the old thing before can pick up the new—not just outwardly but inwardly.” (William Bridges)
William Bridges identifies three stages of transition:
Ending, Losing, and Letting Go
The Neutral Zone
The New Beginning
In his book, “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes,” William Bridges describes “The Neutral Zone”:
“This was a time ‘between dreams’ . . . it was a place without a name—an empty space in the world and the lifetime where a new sense of self could gestate.”
The Cultural Story-Weaver describes this neutral space—in the middle of transition—as “The Land Between.”
“It’s a place that we didn’t expect, that we didn’t want, that we didn’t ask for. It’s a place of void and nothingness. We grope for something familiar to hold on to, something we have known from our past life, or we try to reach for something new and exciting in our future that we cannot quite see yet. Sometimes, it even feels like a scary place between our past and our future. It’s the present.”
Dr. Terry Walling describes four distinct phases of the “Transition Life Cycle”:
Entry: A transition begins. Depending on the circumstances, it may take time to realize what’s going on. “You can be knee-deep in alligators before you realize it’s a transition.” Sometimes, you can feel like you’re drowning in this stage. People may feel isolated, alone, and disconnected.
Evaluation: You ask yourself, “What in the world is going on here?” You try to make sense of things that are happening in your life.
Alignment: This is a place of surrender. You begin to see things more clearly—purpose, plans. The dots start to connect.
Direction: You start to see a way forward. You begin to find solutions and get answers. The transition is drawing to an end.
Last, but not least, Dr. Walling reminds us often that “All transitions do come to an end.”
They don’t last forever—thank heavens!
It’s all about perspective and how we look at transition. We can view transition as this terrible, awful, challenging stage in our lives—just hoping and praying that we will survive it—or we can view it in a positive light—as an exciting, growing, developmental season in our lives.
Hope is just around the corner.
Photo by Miguel A. Amutio on Unsplash
“As we sit in the quiet, dark, empty space, something begins to stir and come alive within us. Seeds of faith begin to germinate. Dreams begin to birth. Visions begin to dawn. Something begins to awaken that was lying dormant. Something begins to resurrect that was dead and buried. Our dreams are unleashed, and we feel the breath of life and joy invade our souls again.”
— The Cultural Story-Weaver
Our family has been here in our new place of work and life for almost four months now. We are still walking this bridge of transition. We are clearly in the “Land Between,” struggling daily to communicate in a new language, navigating cultural barriers of misunderstanding and confusion, and not yet integrating into the local community. We are far from being “at home” in this new land.
However, I don’t want to miss a thing! I don’t want my children to miss the enjoyment of the ride. Yes, transition is a monster of a roller coaster. However, we are throwing our hands up in the air, feeling the refreshing breeze brush across our faces, enjoying the wind-blown look, experiencing the expected dips and climbs, letting ourselves experience the crazy flutters in our stomachs, and keeping our eyes peeled for the spectacular views!
It’s transition—it’s not the first, and it’s not the last! But, our family is going to enjoy the ride—until we jump on board the next “transition roller coaster”!
Going through a transition?
Would it help to have someone walking with you?
Personalized Care may be just the help you need!
Works Cited:
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/bridges-transition-model.htm
Guest author, Marci Renée, along with her French husband and four boys, is a global nomad who has traveled to more than 30 countries and has lived in the United States, France, Morocco, and Spain. She loves to travel, speak foreign languages, experience different cultures, eat ethnic foods, meet people from faraway lands, and of course, write and tell stories. She is a published author of children's picture books, memoirs, short stories, and poetry.
You can find Marci and her books on her website.
"The Cultural Story-Weaver," at www.culturalstoryweaver.com