8 Reasons Why It's Important To Play
Photo by Bao Truong on Unsplash
“Mommy, will you play a card game with me?”
“Mommy, can we go to the beach and play in the sand together?”
“Mommy, will you go outside and pass the soccer ball with me?”
“I’m sorry, honey, Mommy has to finish up some work.”
“I’m sorry, honey, Mommy has to get dinner started.”
“I’m sorry, honey, Mommy has to take your brother to his school meeting.”
Life is too full. Life is too stressful. Life is too hard.
There is no extra time, no margin. There is certainly no time to play card games, go to the beach, and kick a soccer ball.
At least that was true when I originally wrote this. Now as COVID-19 hits the world, many of us have much more time on our hands. Yet, something inside us still hesitates to play.
When was the last time I laughed so hard that I cried? When was the last time I had so much fun doing something that I forgot about the other worries and cares of my life?
When was the last time I gave myself permission to play?
Why Don’t Adults Play?
For kids, play is a natural part of life. They sleep, they wake up, they eat, they play, they play some more, and then they go to bed. The next day, they start all over again. Play is a huge part of our days and lives as kids.
Children are light and carefree, full of fun, adventure, and laughter. They don’t care if their hair gets messy, their clothes get muddy, or if their faces get covered in chocolate.
What happens to us as adults? Why do we stop playing? Why does our society seem to dismiss play for adults?
When you think about it, play seems unproductive and petty. It can even be perceived as a guilty pleasure. Adults aren’t supposed to be silly, are they? Adults are supposed to be serious and pragmatic. And between all the responsibilities that adult life brings—both personal and professional—who has time to play anyway?
I sure don’t, and I don’t have very many adult friends who allow themselves to play either.
Another possible reason adults don’t often play is control.
“Play and control cannot coexist. Afraid of taking a risk, of losing control, I often miss opportunities for play,” says Rebekah Lyons, author of “Rhythms of Renewal—Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose.”
Play means letting go of the reigns. Letting go of control sounds a bit scary, doesn’t it?
“Another possible reason adults don’t often play is control.”
What Exactly is “Play”?
Author and psychiatrist, Dr. Stuart Brown, calls play a “state of being: purposeless, fun, and pleasurable.” He says that the focus of play is on the actual experience itself, not on the accomplishment of a goal. Play is needless.
Dr. Brown, Founder of the National Institute for Play, says that “play” looks different for everyone. For one person, sitting on the couch and knitting in front of the fireplace might be fun and pleasurable, whereas, for someone else, that might be painful to even think about. Someone else might find shooting hoops at the local basketball court with some buddies as the greatest definition of “play.”
As long as you enjoy it and have fun . . . it’s considered “play” for you!
“Being happy, relaxed, free, feeling like time is flowing, not constantly checking your watch—those things signify that you are in play mode,” explains play expert, creative strategist and toy designer, Yesim Kunter.
Photo by Gabriel Gurrola on Unsplash
What’s so Powerful about Play Anyway?
The importance of play in the life and development of a child is well documented, but what about the benefits of play for an adult?
“We don’t lose the need for novelty and pleasure as we grow up,” according to Dr. Scott G. Eberle, Editor of the American Journal of Play.
In his book, Play, Dr. Brown compares it to “oxygen.” Adults need oxygen too!
Play:
1. Reduces our stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) and triggers the release of endorphins (“feel-good hormones”) which elevate our mood and allow us to relax. This release is increased if the play involves a lot of laughter.
2. Can help deepen connections and relationships.
3. Can cultivate healing—physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and relational.
4. Brings joy and pleasure! It brings happiness and wards off depression.
5. Builds resilience and allows us to better handle life stressors.
“Highly playful adults feel the same stressors as anyone else, but they appear to experience and react to them differently, allowing stressors to roll off more easily than those who are less playful,” according to Lynn Barnett, researcher and professor of recreation, sports, and tourism at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
6. Increases productivity and creativity.
7. If it involves physical activity, it strengthens our heart, lungs, and our entire body.
8. Improves mental and cognitive health and can lower our risk of developing dementia and other age-related diseases.
How to Incorporate Play Into Our Lives
We don’t have to play all the time to reap its benefits. A little bit can go a long way.
Here are some ways to start adding play into our lives:
1. Change how we think about play. Play can be lots of things—arts and crafts, playing the piano and singing, dancing to a new beat, reading out loud to your spouse, running with a friend, playing a board game with your kids, talking to your dog . . . Change our mindset. Remember that play is important for our overall health (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, relational). We must give ourselves permission to play!
2. Remember our childhood play. Dr. Stuart Brown suggests that we recall our past play memories. “What did you do as a child that excited you? Did you engage in those activities alone or with others? Or both? How can you recreate that today?”
3. Surround ourselves with playful people. Seek out friends who like to have fun! They can be a good support as we step out of our comfort zones and try something we would otherwise be wary of. It’s always more fun with someone else!
4. Play with little ones. Accept our child’s invitations when they ask us to play with them. We can try playing some make-believe games in order to get ourselves into a “play mindset,” or pull out some finger paints and make a mess together.
5. Carve out time to play in our busy schedules. Plan it! Mark it on your calendar and make it a priority. Maureen Neihart, PsyD, says that “scheduling pleasurable activities is one of the simplest and most often used interventions in the treatment and prevention of depression.”
6. Make playful objects visible and accessible. Keep simple games, fun objects, or colorful markers on your desk or on a nearby bookshelf. Put up posters or inspirational quotes that remind you to have fun and play.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I don’t know about you, but I have a new and fresh perspective on play. I could use some oxygen!
This evening after school, when my 7-year-old son asks me if we can go to the beach and play in the sand, I’m ready! I’m going to say, “Yes, absolutely!” Even if I still have work to do on my computer and dinner isn’t yet prepped, those things can wait.
I’m also ready to let the wind make my hair messy, risk getting my tennis shoes muddy, and maybe even get my mouth covered in chocolate with our “after-school snack!”
As this article is published, most of us—wherever we are in the world—are in lock down or quarantine for a period of time, due to the COVID-19 virus. Many of us have little kids home from school, and we are trying to balance family life, homeschooling, and online work. These are challenging times! More than ever, we need to play. Our kids need to play. Our families need to play. Play is a powerful stress reliever!
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