Life-Giving Stories: 8 Fun Ways to Share Stories Around the Table
Photo by Lino Ogenio on Unsplash
What ever happened to the good ‘ole days? The old farmhouse, the long, wooden dining room table, the fresh, oven-baked bread sliced with melted butter, the candle flames flickering in the centerpiece, the relaxed atmosphere, the lingering conversations, stories about the day . . .
The absence of cell phones in our hands . . .
Oh, yes, the beauty of the good ‘ole days.
In our home, we are incessantly telling our children (and reminding ourselves, if we are really honest!) to put away our cell phones at the table. This is a sacred moment, one of the few in our busy days, when we can sit down, look each other in the eyes, and talk.
We are desperate—desperate for conversations, yes, face-to-face conversations with our spouse, our children, our family.
Perhaps we have forgotten how to do it.
It’s challenging enough to actually get the family to sit down together at the dinner table. We hustle back and forth between school, soccer practices, piano lessons, late work meetings . . . not to mention scrambling to make dinner, get the little ones bathed, help the big ones with homework, and everything else.
Yes, family meals are a challenge.
However, once we finally get everyone sat down together at the dining room table, once we get all the screens and devices removed from sight, once we settle ourselves enough to breathe, to face each other, and to look each other in the eyes . . .
Where do we begin? How do we start sharing stories and life-giving, meaningful conversations around the table?
“No, we are no longer living in the good ‘ole days. Now, we have to be intentional.”
Practical Ideas to Get Started
1. The Best and the Worst: Rather than asking your spouse or your kids, “Did you have a good day?” turn that closed question into an open question. Go around the table and ask each other, “What was the best part of your day?” Then, flip the question and ask, “What was the worst part of your day?” We have to be ready to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Be ready to celebrate each other’s wins of the day and to encourage and support each other in the moments of challenge that life has brought our way.
2. Pick a Question: I often use this tool as an ice breaker when I teach English. It helps to get the conversation started, and after that, words can flow more naturally.
Write ten or more simple questions on small pieces of paper that can be folded up and thrown into a hat or a bowl. Go around the table, having each person draw a question and respond. Or, you can change it up and have each person draw a question and ask a family member of their choice. Feel free to ask follow-up questions after the person shares in order to keep the conversation going.
Alternate versions:
Write the questions on a grid.
Throw a dice or coin onto the board.
Whatever question you land on, you have to answer.
Or
Have six numbered questions on a paper.
Throw a dice to see which one you have to answer.
Answer your question and have fun talking and getting to know each other!
Some examples could be:
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
What’s your favorite book, and what do you like most about it?
Who do you miss the most about our extended family on the other side of the ocean?
What do you miss most about your home country?
What is your favorite season and why?
If you could change something about our family, what would it be? (Be nice!)
What is your dream job?
What do you love most about your siblings?
What do you find most difficult about living in our host culture?
What do you love most about the people in our host culture?
How do you feel about your language learning progress in the local language?
If you could jump on a plane to travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go and why?
If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
Who is your best friend, and what makes that person such a great friend?
Describe yourself in three words (then allow everyone else at the table to describe you in three words—only kind words allowed!)
If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?
If you received a million dollars, what would be the first thing you would do?
Here is a link to 100 family conversation starter questions.
3. Share a Picture: Ask each family member to bring a photo to dinner to share and talk about. Each person goes around the table, showing his or her picture and saying whatever he wants about it. Encourage people to ask questions to the one sharing, in order to keep the conversation going.
4. Oral Gratitude Journal: Go around the table and say one thing you are thankful for. Have someone record the list each day in a “gratitude journal” to keep as a reminder of all the wonderful blessings your family has experienced throughout the weeks, months, and years.
5. Take a fun trip: Prepare food from another land and culture and explore the world as a family. For example, make tacos for dinner, turn on some Mexican music, learn and practice some new Spanish words, and watch a YouTube video about the country, like this one:
Talk about what you would like to see if you could visit Mexico one day. What would you like about the country? Have fun taking an imaginary trip to the other side of the world.
6. News and Opinions: Designate someone to be the news broadcaster at the dining room table. Bring an interesting piece of local news or international news (from your home country, your host country, or from wherever in the world). Tell everyone what has happened and then discuss it. Go around the table and allow everyone to share their thoughts and opinions about the news, without any judgment or conflict.
7. Share Memories: Ask everyone to share their favorite childhood memories. The older family members can share memories about their grandparents or great grandparents. Write down these family stories in a journal to keep these memories alive as a family heirloom. To bring the memory alive even more, share pictures along with your stories from the past.
8. Story Cubes: This is a fun game to play and can take place after dinner or during dessert. Throw the story cubes onto the middle of the table and take turns picking up a cube and telling a part of the story (based on the image on the cube). This makes for a lot of fun and laughter around the table as the story builds. This storytelling game can bring unity as your family learns to tell a story together. Sometimes this conversation starter will get the ball rolling for many more hours of storytelling around the table in the days to come.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Intentionality
Storytelling around the table with your spouse and children is not something that happens naturally these days. No, we are no longer living in the good ‘ole days. Now, we have to be intentional. We have to think ahead, be prepared, get our supplies ready, and initiate the conversation.
After days, weeks, months, and years of not having meaningful family conversations during a meal, the atmosphere has sometimes grown cold and awkward.
Changing our longstanding family culture will probably take some time, but it will be worth the time and energy if we can discover some new and deeper connections.
It’s time to break the ice! It’s time to start talking! It’s time to tell some new and old stories, share some good and not-so-good memories, and to have some fun conversations around the table.
Who’s ready to talk? Who’s hungry? Let’s start tonight!
Guest author, Marci Renée, along with her French husband and four boys, is a global nomad who has traveled to more than 30 countries and has lived in the United States, France, Morocco, and Spain. She loves to travel, speak foreign languages, experience different cultures, eat ethnic foods, meet people from faraway lands, and of course, write and tell stories. She is a published author of children's picture books, memoirs, short stories, and poetry.
You can find Marci and her books on her website.
"The Cultural Story-Weaver," at www.culturalstoryweaver.com