10 Effective Ways to Include the Quieter Voices on Your Team
Photo by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash
I grabbed my notebook and pencil as we walked out the door. Two weeks ago, our team leader had told us that, at this team meeting, we would be discussing what would help our team to function better. As a quieter member of our team, I had spent some time on my own processing this question. I was excited to share my thoughts with the team, and finally, the team meeting was here!
I sipped iced coffee as I sat down on the floor in the colorful salon, finding a cozy corner seat. All the team was there, and there was energy in the room! My team leader talked for a while about the topic of today’s meeting and then asked the team for their ideas on functioning better together.
It seemed like he had barely finished before “Visionary Victor” piped up, “We need to talk about vision so we can align our focus better…” He went on to talk about the team vision, updating the vision statement, missional statement, memo of understanding, etc… The rest of the room was quiet, and he went on talking for what felt like ten minutes.
Finally, when he was done, our team leader asked the group who else had a thought. That’s when it all started. You see, “Brainstorm Brenda” and “Ideas Ida” had a certain chemistry. Sometimes in team meetings, they would get going on a topic. They would excitedly spin-off ideas back and forth in a way that was lots of fun, but totally exclusive of the rest of us. They were close friends, similar in personality, and full of inspiring thoughts. However, they didn’t seem to notice that, in the midst of their energetic exchanges, they took up all the “space” in the room and no one else’s voice was given a chance to be heard.
I sat quietly watching our team leader. How would he respond?
After some time of listening to Brenda and Ida's brainstorming session, our team leader finally interrupted them with a comment affirming their gifts and how helpful it was to have them on our team. Then he commented on which of their ideas he thought was best and closed the meeting with “Does anyone object to this idea?”
At that point, I put my notebook under my leg, feeling a sense of wanting to hide not only my ideas, but also my disappointment. Did anyone care about my thoughts? Does anyone value me on this team? Do only the extroverts get to have input? I swallowed hard, trying to hold back years of frustration.
How many meetings have you been in where it’s the louder, quicker-thinking people who make the decisions? Have you sat through meetings when you barely got to share a word, or when the non-native English speaker is really left out?
It’s sad when there is so much wisdom in the room, and yet, this happens over and over.
Why? Typically it’s because we gravitate to one style of group interaction: large group discussion. It’s a go-to, but it has some major problems.
Photo by Jason Goodman on Unsplash
The problems with not including quiet members' voices:
The loudest members get more voice or power.
Those comfortable interrupting get more “air time.”
The group misses out on the wisdom of those who don’t want to compete to have their voice heard.
Talkative members sometimes think they are doing the group a favor by speaking up when there is silence.
Quiet members feel undervalued, discouraged, and/or insignificant.
Including the quieter members’ voices has incredible benefits:
Richer, more diverse discussions
Added wisdom
More perspectives that more accurately represent the types of people you serve
Increased trust, dignity, and morale within the group
Higher quality outcomes
How to include quieter voices:
Share upfront that you want to increase each person's voice, so you’d like to try some new things.
Ask everyone to take 90 seconds of silence before anyone speaks up.
Use go-arounds, where each person has a chance to speak or pass.
Instead of verbal discussion, ask everyone to write out their thoughts. Then, share those silently by passing around papers or simply read them off aloud. Allow only those with written out thoughts to share during that portion of time.
Pass papers of written thoughts around the room and have other team members write additional or responsive thoughts.
Use fishbowls to create an outside ring or group of observers who are only allowed to listen to a smaller subgroup speak.
Use triads for small discussions who then report back main thoughts to the group.
Give agendas in advance with as many specifics as possible so internal processors have time to think in advance.
Specifically ask the quieter member to speak into some areas.
Set and enforce ground rules such as: Only speak up a second time after everyone else has had a chance, or keep to a time limit per person, ask people to raise their hand, or otherwise indicate they have something to say.
Speak privately to quieter members and ask them what would be helpful to them personally.
As a quieter member of my team, I had sat through many team meetings where people interpreted my quietness as agreement or as if I had nothing to contribute. I had to regularly fight against thoughts of insignificance, and I even questioned my belonging on the team as a result.
And here’s the thing, I wasn’t the only one. I had noticed since “Silent Soo-yung” arrived from Korea a few months ago, he didn’t say much either. As a non-native English speaker, he was trying hard to keep up with the conversation and wasn’t able to respond as quickly as others on the team.
After that team meeting, I decided I would talk with my team leader about how I felt and what I observed going on in our team. After all, the idea written in my notebook all along was about how to give everyone on the team a voice. What new levels of unity and togetherness could we achieve if everyone’s voices were given space to be heard?
