Gratitude—How It Becomes a Pathway to Hope
Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse on Unsplash
I was feeling miserable. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no way out of my situation. I felt stuck, without much hope. It wasn’t anything new. I had actually been feeling this way for a while.
Hopeless. That’s how I felt.
Maybe I needed some fresh air. A walk might do me good, help pull me out of this brain fog and emotional heaviness. Everything felt like a huge weight on my shoulders, a burden that I couldn’t continue to carry.
Hopeless. That’s how I felt.
I put my dog on his leash and walked out the gate. I put in my earbuds and turned on a podcast.
It was on a mindfulness app called Calm. The day’s topic—gratitude.
“Yeah right, gratitude,” I mumbled to myself.
I almost pushed “stop,” but kept it on “play.” The last thing I felt was grateful or thankful. Nothing could be further from the truth—further from my emotions.
When I looked around, when I took a good look at my life, what in the world was there to be grateful for?
“Nothing! Absolutely nothing!” my self-talk continued. I was actually starting to have a pity party.
I went ahead and let the podcast play. Something inside me was curious.
Curious & Intrigued
“What’s this gratitude thing about anyway?”
I listened. It was intriguing.
“ . . . If people realized that gratitude is kinda like a superpower and responsible for strengthening immunity, enhancing optimism, and unlocking happiness, they would probably practice it a whole lot more.” (Calm App, Day 1 of “7 Days of Gratitude” with Tamara Levitt).
I kept listening.
“When we focus on that for which we’re grateful, it makes us feel good, because it widens our perspective. When we’re caught in stress and despair, we often develop tunnel vision and are only able to focus on the negative. Gratitude helps us see the bright side of things amidst the challenges. It enables us to appreciate our circumstances and all that we have, rather than focusing on what we lack. It’s really the perfect remedy for an unhappy disposition, because when we are experiencing wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation, our mood transforms to joy.”
This sounded too good to be true. Seriously, I could use a happy mood, not to mention all the people around me—my spouse, my kids, my friends.
But how? How was I supposed to do this when I didn’t feel thankful or grateful for anything in my life?
The motivational message included a challenge to practice gratefulness and make it a daily habit. Apparently, it was an exercise that would take some discipline, effort, and intentionality. It might not come naturally at first. At the beginning, it might feel uncomfortable and forced, but they promised it would become easier with time.
I was willing to try it and see what happened.
“Gratitude is a habit that can be developed. By taking time to regularly focus on what is good in our lives, the more gratitude grows and the easier it becomes.”
Once again, I was in one of those places where things couldn’t get much worse.
But, was I really ready to look on the bright side of things? I wasn’t sure. If I was honest with myself, I had actually grown to like my pessimism and negativity. Strangely enough, it had become a familiar friend. It had become comfortable to complain, to moan, and to groan about my misfortunes in life. I especially liked groaning about my discomforts of living in the desert!
Photo by Hugo Ramos on Unsplash
The “Gifts of Gratitude”
As I continued walking and listening to the recording, all the “Gifts of Gratitude” were named one by one.
Gratitude “unlocks happiness, improves our health, tempers the pursuit of more, strengthens our relationships, sharpens our attention, opens our hearts, helps us through tough times.”
Why wouldn’t I want that? Who wouldn’t want that? Maybe it was time to turn myself around and stop facing the dark side of my life, stop drowning in my self-pity. Maybe I could find something light, something beautiful, something that could change my life.
Getting Started
Harvard Medical School echoes the Calm app challenge of beginning to practice gratitude and making it a daily habit. They give simple suggestions to help get us started.
Write a thank-you note. Nurture your relationship with someone by writing a letter or an email expressing your appreciation for that person and/or perhaps their impact on your life. Try to do this monthly, and don’t hesitate to write one to yourself from time to time.
Pray. Use prayer to practice and cultivate thankfulness and gratitude. Looking “upward” in prayer helps us to get our eyes off the negative circumstances and situations in our lives that are often out of our control and weighing us down. By releasing and surrendering these challenges and difficulties, we can often find freedom and a lighter, happier heart.
Meditate. Focus on the present moment, not the past or future, without judgment. Take some time to focus on what you’re grateful for. If you are outside walking, you could focus on the warmth of the sun on your skin or the pleasant sound of birds chirping in the far distance.
Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write out your blessings one by one.
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down the gifts (material, emotional, spiritual) you have received each day.
“Oh, that’s it!”
Photo by Rubén Bagüés on Unsplash
I suddenly remembered a book that a friend had given me last year. I’d never read it. It was called 1000 Gifts by Ann Voscamp. It told the author’s personal journey of feeling hopelessness and despair. She began a journal and challenged herself to observe, find, and write down 1000 gifts. She had to intentionally look around her, listen, feel, taste, touch, and open her mind to the “bright” things in her life. It would take her months to finish her list, but she finally did.
She found 1000 gifts to be thankful and grateful for.
I got out my new journal and began to number.
My new purple pen
Watching the boys play soccer in the park last night
Several loads of laundry done today
Some light rain this evening
Speaking and practicing Arabic today at the grocery store
The more I continued, the more gifts came to mind. I kept writing, kept recording, kept remembering, kept rejoicing.
I felt something inside of me. What was it?
Was it a key, a key unlocking something in my heart?
I could feel it, something rising up. I was beginning to feel joy and hope knocking at the door of my heart!
Other related See Beyond articles you may find timely:
Gratitude From the Heart and Mind
