Why Have a Good Cry? 8 Scientific Benefits to Your Tears
Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash
It’s the first thing we do when we enter the world. Weary mothers welcome this sound in their ears.
Life . . . breath . . . existence . . . health . . .
That’s what those tears mean.
Soon after, most of us will have these words whispered in our ears, “Don’t cry! Don’t cry! It’s okay, don’t cry!”
We rock, we soothe, we pacify, we nurse, we do everything in our human power to keep a baby from crying. We want to care for the needs of our babies; yet, we grow weary of their crying.
As babies grow up, especially little boys, they may be quickly discouraged from crying. They may hear, “Boys don’t cry. Be strong. Don’t be a baby.”
Upon becoming adults, these men may even hear, “Real men don’t cry.”
In some cultures, it is forbidden to cry. Tears are an outward symbol of weakness or lack of faith in the divine.
I can remember our dear friends in North Africa who lost their son overnight to bacterial meningitis. We gathered with them and their families that day to comfort them in their moment of shock, deep loss, and grief. In that particular culture, we must not cry, but rather accept the pain that comes into our lives.
These haunted words were repeated by all the women who surrounded my friend and that grieving mother. They still echo in my heart and mind today.
“Don’t cry! Don’t cry! Don’t cry!”
So, what do these grown women do? What do these grown men do who are forbidden to cry, not allowed to freely and publicly release their emotions through tears?
They stuff. They hold back. They block. They inhibit.
Maybe that’s your story, too.
The Facts About Tears
People cry more often than we think, perhaps because it is often done in private, in hiding, alone.
According to the Harvard Medical School, research shows that “on average, American women cry 3.5 times each month, while American men cry about 1.9 times each month. These figures might take us by surprise, especially as our society has often looked at crying—particularly by men—as a sign of weakness and lack of emotional stamina.”
It’s important to know that not all tears are created equal. There are several categories for this liquid that spills from our eyes.
Reflex Tears
Continuous or Basal Tears
Emotional Tears
The first two categories of tears are for the protection of our eyes. Reflex tears are triggered by irritants and have a crucial function of removing debris such as dust or smoke from our eyes. Basal tears are a protein-rich antibacterial liquid that serves to lubricate our eyes every time we blink. Both of these types of tears contain 98% of water, and both are present in animals.
The third category of tears, emotional tears, is unique to humans. They are shed in response to a wide range of emotions. These types of tears contain a higher level of stress hormones than the other two types of tears. Emotional tears offer us the most benefits—emotional, physical, and social.
Photo by Ed Leszczynskl on Unsplash
Good For You!?
Yes, what if crying is actually good for us?
Here are 8 benefits of crying that Medical News Today has identified:
Has a soothing effect. Tears help to calm us down, help us to regulate our emotions, and help us to reduce our distress. Crying actually activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) and helps relax a person.
Gets support from others. Crying helps to rally the support of others around us. This is considered an interpersonal or social benefit. This happens when babies cry and parents respond, or even when someone is hurt and needs help.
Helps to relieve pain. Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which helps relieve both physical and emotional pain.
Enhances mood. Shedding tears can lift our spirits. Oxytocin and endorphins are known as the “feel good” chemicals.
Releases toxins and relieves stress. If people cry in response to stress, their tears contain high levels of stress hormones and other chemicals. It is believed that crying flushes out these toxins and, in turn, reduces stress.
Aids sleep. Crying helps babies to sleep better. It is believed that this might also be the case for us as adults, due to the pain-relieving, mood-enhancing, and calming effects of tears.
Fights bacteria. Tears contain a fluid called lysozyme that has powerful antimicrobial properties. Crying can help to kill bacteria and keep our eyes clean.
Improves vision. Basal tears are released every time we blink our eyes. These tears help keep our eyes moist, keeping the mucous membranes from drying out.
Warning: Although there are great benefits to shedding a few “good tears,” frequent crying can sometimes be a sign of depression.
Medical News Today advises that you talk to a medical professional if your crying happens very frequently, happens for no apparent reason, begins to affect your daily activities in life, or becomes uncontrollable.
Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash
Cry!
So, instead of stuffing, holding back, blocking, and inhibiting those tears from falling, maybe we shouldn’t resist when the urge to cry begins to rise up within us.
Instead of saying, “Don’t cry, don’t cry, it will be okay, don’t cry,” maybe we need to change our self-talk and our words to each other.
My friend who had lost her son was finally able to shed a few healing tears. After the families had left, and we were alone—just the two of us—I told her that she had freedom to cry. She needed to cry, to grieve, and to process the huge loss of her child.
Little by little, she let go and allowed herself to cry.
How about a new message for ourselves and for those we love around us.
“Cry, cry, it will be ok, just cry!”
Guest author, Marci Renée, along with her French husband and four boys, is a global nomad who has traveled to more than 30 countries and has lived in the United States, France, Morocco, and Spain. She loves to travel, speak foreign languages, experience different cultures, eat ethnic foods, meet people from faraway lands, and of course, write and tell stories. She is a published author of children's picture books, memoirs, short stories, and poetry.
You can find Marci and her books on her website.
"The Cultural Story-Weaver," at www.culturalstoryweaver.com