How Can Giving and Receiving Hugs Help Us?
Photo by Anastasia Sklyar on Unsplash
I remember seeing images of people standing on street corners and in store parking lots with signs saying “Free Hugs.”
“What was that all about?” I often wondered.
I haven’t seen those people and those signs recently. Actually, it’s been a couple of years.
COVID happened and brought a sudden halt to a lot of physical contact around the world.
Here in our part of the world, people traditionally and culturally greet with handshakes or kisses on the cheeks. Maybe in your part of the world, you typically say hello to someone with a hug or a pat on the shoulder. In the past few years, these moments of physical contact with other human beings have converted to imaginary “high fives,” hugs, or kisses in the air. Elbow and fist bumps have quickly replaced handshakes. Little by little, things are starting to get back to normal, but they may never be the same.
When you think of the world today, the amount of physical touch we give and receive is down . . . significantly down.
Perhaps that influences our increased levels of loneliness, discouragement, depression, negativity, and bad attitudes.
It’s understandable. Hugs and other forms of physical touch do more for us than we may realize.
The Benefits of Hugs
“The longing for human touch and connection is as basic as any human need, and there’s strong evidence that hugs don’t just make you feel good.”
According to Dr. Joe Rock, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, many things take place inside our bodies when we give and receive a hug:
Cortisol, a stress hormone, decreases.
Blood pressure decreases.
Heart rate decreases in stressful situations.
Hugs strengthen our immune system, decreasing our risk of getting sick when under stress.
Hugs raise the level of oxytocin, the “feel good” chemical in our brain.
In addition to the physical side effects of hugs and other forms of physical touch, there are also many emotional benefits.
Dr. Rock says that hugging has therapeutic effects, due to the fact that there are certain pathways in the brain that were created to detect physical human touch.
Hugs show someone you care. One single woman said, “A friend who greets me with a hug means they care about me, they love me, and they are glad to be with me. I need this.”
Hugs help us to create community with others.
Hugs help us to be more empathic and less self-focused.
Hugs help children regulate their emotions.
Hugs help children’s brains grow and develop.
“We can detach ourselves from people and get locked up in our own world, just the physical act of hugging someone really does connect us with them and lets down some of our defenses.”
— Dr. Joe Rock
According to Emily Mudd, Ph.D., of Cleveland Clinic Children’s, “We know that even from the moment we’re born, that touch, physical touch, attention, and hugs, are so very important for both nervous system regulation and brain development. From the moment we’re born—we talk about kangaroo care and the importance of skin-to-skin contact and that really continues through childhood.”
Things to Keep in Mind About Hugs
Not everyone has an opportunity to be hugged every day.
One single living in North Africa said, “This has been especially difficult since the pandemic, since most people I know are still not shaking hands, let alone giving hugs. On our team, a 2-year-old gives hugs occasionally, and I make sure to enjoy that when it happens. I also take every opportunity to shake hands with, greet, hug, etc. anyone who is ok with it.”
It’s also good to remember that not everyone wants to be hugged, so it’s good to always ask permission. Just because we all need physical touch, doesn't mean everyone wants it from you or from just anyone. Don't assume you are welcome.
Additionally, touch can be trauma triggering for some, so even asking before putting a hand on a shoulder could be important.
Also, be wise in how to hug someone of the opposite sex. Oftentimes, a “side hug” can seem more comfortable and appropriate.
Consider what you can do to help others in need of a hug if they can’t hug someone or have other appropriate physical contact with others due to the COVID restrictions where they live, or due to the fact that they are perhaps single or in a culture where physical touch is not appropriate.
Photo by Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash
Free Hugs Today!
Maybe one day we will live in a part of the world where we can see someone standing in the parking lot of a grocery store with a sign held up: “Free Hugs Today!” If so, we won't have to wonder anymore what that’s all about. Now we know the benefits—physical and emotional—of hugs and other physical touch. Maybe we will even decide to run over and receive one ourselves, or perhaps stand in line with them to offer “free hugs” to others who may be lonely and in need of some care and support.
In the meantime, find ways to fill your own needs and to help others, and when appropriate, give a hug today! You never know what that might do for the other person . . . and for you too!