Why Experts Say That Suicide is a Global ‘Silent Epidemic’
Photo by Lawrence Chismorie on Unsplash
I’d heard stories, lots of them—always from a distance. They were horrible, but they didn’t haunt me.
This time was different.
This was not far away. This was up close — up close and too personal.
Death, grief, and loss are universal. Who has not experienced the death of a loved one? No one is spared — no, not one.
However, this type of death, grief, and loss is not universal. Unfortunately, however, it has slowly become more common:
Suicide.
What are the Statistics?
COVID took its toll. According to health statistics, the rate of suicide in the U.S. increased by 4% when the world was in lockdown. It was the perfect storm in which people were isolated, lost, desperate, lonely, and hopeless.
According to the World Health Organization, “Every year 703,000 people take their own life and there are many more people who attempt suicide. Suicide occurs throughout the lifespan and was the fourth leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds globally in 2019.”
A Ripple Effect
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, “A suicide is like a pebble in a pond. The waves ripple outward.” The first wave affected by losing a person to suicide is the immediate family. However, that is only the first wave. Those in the second and third waves may include “an individual's community, such as members of a faith community; teachers, staff and other students in a school; or service providers . . .”
Suicide has certainly affected me. It has affected my family. It has affected my life forever.
That’s why I’m writing this—to break the silence, to destroy the taboo.
If my family member’s life can somehow help save one . . . somehow that would be a little bit of a salve on my bleeding heart.
Several months before the tragic loss of my loved one, she had told her two best friends that she was thinking about taking her life. These young 18-year-old girls probably didn’t know what to say or do when they heard this. Or, perhaps, they thought she was joking.
She wasn’t. Those words were her cries for help. But they didn’t hear them.
I don’t blame them for her death. I’m not angry with them. They were young and ignorant, and many of us are ignorant, too.
Why Don’t We Talk About It?
Suicide — they call it the “silent epidemic,” at least in North America and many other places. Why?
Suicide is one of those words that no one wants to say, one of those topics that no one likes to discuss. It’s taboo, scary, makes us squirm in our seats, makes us uncomfortable, disturbs us.
People simply don’t know what to say when you start talking about suicide. A lot of people feel ignorant about the topic. As a result, we don’t talk about it.
Sometimes we don’t want to talk about it because we are afraid that it might lead someone to do it.
According to Stacey Sutherland, co-author of Essential Crisis Care: Training Guide and the executive director of Crisis Care International, “People tend to have the mistaken idea that if they ask someone about harming themselves they are somehow reminding the person and maybe it will move them to do it. This is absolutely false. They are already thinking about it, even if you don't say a word. The questions can be a relief because (ideally) it gives the person a safe, non-judgmental place to talk about the depth of their pain. Often the thoughts of self-harm are scary for them or at least unsettling.”
So, what if not talking about suicide was actually making it worse?
One of the main reasons we don’t talk about suicide is because there’s a stigma around it. For those who have lost a loved one to suicide, the word “suicide” is wrapped up in shame. Avoiding the subject protects us from feelings of guilt and self-blame, wondering why we didn’t see it coming, why we didn’t notice the signs of mental health struggles in our loved one, even what we could have done to prevent the tragedy.
Is the world afraid to talk about something that may be killing us?
Some experts have described suicide in men as a “‘silent epidemic’ because of a lack of public awareness and policy debate about the scale of the problem and what can be done to address it.”
Measles, smallpox, and polio were killing masses. People didn’t remain silent about it. They talked about it. They worked together to find a solution — a vaccination — that could save people’s lives.
Why is the epidemic of suicide any different? It’s killing us — especially our young people, among whom it is the fourth leading cause of death. Even for adults, suicide is the 17th leading cause of death globally.
We have to talk about suicide. We have to work together to raise awareness, to prevent, to equip, to come alongside, so that we can save people’s lives.
It is a worldwide epidemic. We can no longer remain silent.
It has caused me to ask a question — no, it has made me scream a question: What are we doing or not doing to talk about suicide prevention?
It is everyone’s responsibility.
Do You Know What to Do?
Do you know what to do if someone you know (or even a complete stranger) talks to you about potential self-harm? Do you know what to say? Do you know where to get help?
The thought of this may feel scary to us. We naturally want to lean away from the person and the conversation.
However, what if these expressed words, feelings, or thoughts of self-harm are a person’s cries for help?
We don’t know, and it’s not up to us to figure out if the person is serious or not. It is our responsibility to lean in and ask questions.
It could be a matter of life and death.
There are some basic questions that we can ask a person who expresses thoughts of self-harm or taking his or her life. It’s surprising, but if these people are crying out for help, they actually want to talk about it.
If the person hasn’t told you but you suspect suicidal thoughts, you could ask: “Have you thought of ending your life?” You could then say, “Thank you for sharing that with me and trusting me. That took a lot of courage to tell me. May I ask you a few questions?”
If you have permission to continue the conversation, lean in and ask questions that do not have “yes” and “no” answers. Sutherland suggests the following questions and reminds us that “the focus in this conversation is presence and severity of suicidality and then next steps are keeping them safe.”
How often have you had these thoughts? When was the last time you had thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life?
Then, you can ask a question to measure the intensity: The last time you had these thoughts, on a scale of one to ten, how intense were the thoughts? (1 is “I can cope.” and 10 is “I'm ready to end my life right now.”)
Do you have a plan for how you would end your life? A time frame for when you would do it? Do you have what you need to carry out the plan?
Does anyone else know about this? You can suggest someone by name and then ask how they feel about going together to that person to get the support needed. If they are in the United States, you can refer them to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or other international suicide hotlines, depending on where they live.
Suggest going to get help with them: I care about you and I want to help you be safe. I'd like us to go together to talk to___ (or to the ER/hospital). How does this sound to you?* Give them enough space to voice any fears and concerns and offer reassurance. If they insist on not going with you, next steps might be to contact someone else who might be able to convince them about getting help. If all else fails, contact Emergency Services or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.) and see if they have a Crisis Intervention Specialist or a Crisis Response Team to come and help.
What If?
What if we could all be trained to hear the desperate cries for help around us? What if we could all be equipped to ask the right questions in the right way? What if we could know how to respond and how to get help? What if our words, our actions, and our trained responses could save our loved one’s life?
I hope this story and these tools can do that. I hope these words can make a difference for someone.
We can all make a difference right where we are by talking about suicide and bringing a halt to this “silent epidemic.”
*If the person answers “no” to this last question, and they are actively suicidal, we cannot give that person the choice. They are not safe; therefore, it is our responsibility to make sure they are safe. We may need to take them to the ER for assessment if we believe there is immediate danger, or we may need to schedule an appointment for them to see a mental health professional for evaluation that week if we assess that the danger is not imminent. You can accompany the person to the appointment to make sure they get there. If you live with the suicidal person, do not leave them alone, but keep them in sight until help is secured.