Hobbies—Have You Forgotten How to Have Fun?
Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
Growing up, I had a lot of hobbies. I was one of those kids who dabbled in everything and loved it all—piano, ballet, ice skating, basketball, French, volleyball, track and field, theater, writing . . . the list goes on and on. I took all kinds of classes and enjoyed them all.
In my young adult years at the university, I was exposed to new hobbies—rock climbing, hiking, guitar, judo, sign language, Spanish . . .
Then I got married and had children. I no longer had time for fun and leisure activities. My life became filled with work, family responsibilities, kids’ homework, running my kids to their after-school activities—life.
Stress, stress, stress!
I no longer had time for me and the things I enjoyed doing. I couldn’t even remember what I enjoyed doing.
Who Has Hobbies Anymore?
Kids have hobbies. We encourage our kids to find something they enjoy. Often, we pay big bucks for our kids to be enrolled in the best after-school clubs and activities. We drive them all over town, trying hard to get them exposed to as many diverse activities as possible. We want our kids to be “well rounded.”
It seems perfectly acceptable to have hobbies—to have fun—as children. However, as adults, it doesn’t seem so acceptable and “appropriate.”
As adults, we seem to get so absorbed with the “daily grind” of our lives, families, and work that we forget to have fun. With a “to-do” list a mile long and no end in sight, we may even feel guilty if we step away and have fun. How could we possibly go and do something we enjoy—completely separate from our work and family responsibilities—when we could be spending that precious time planning dinner, cleaning the house, working on that project, having that meeting?
Guilt, work, and stress have stolen our fun.
We cross the threshold and complete the rite of passage into adulthood—whatever that looks like for us personally—graduation from college, a certain “adult” age, marriage, children. As we cross this line, many of us abandon our fun and our hobbies—the things we really enjoy in life. We throw them overboard and enter the adult world of work, productivity, stress, and “daily grind.”
We forget to have fun. Some of us even forget how to have fun.
That’s what happened to me.
Photo by Mariana Vusiatytska on Unsplash
What Are the Barriers to Having Hobbies as Adults?
Time. “I don’t have time to have fun. I’ve got too much to do.”
Money. “I don’t have enough money to have a hobby. Activities are expensive.”
Ideas. “I don’t know what I like to do anymore! Where do I begin finding a new hobby?”
Friends. “I wish that I had a friend to do something with. I don’t want to do it by myself.”
Guilt. “I can’t take time away for me and my needs and desires. I need to be caring for others, my spouse, my children, my friends. Pursing my own interests and pleasures seems selfish.”
hobbies play an important role in taking care of yourself
What if There Were Answers to Some of Our Excuses?
Time: Our “to-do” list will never be complete. No matter how busy we are, we have to make time to have fun and do something we enjoy. If we want to make time, we will find it.
Money: There are a lot of hobbies out there that are free or require very little cost, like reading, hiking, running, writing, or gardening. “This List of 50 Low-cost Hobbies Will Excite You.”
Ideas: Hobbies come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes, we need to think outside the box. Here is a list of hundreds of hobbies, including indoor, outdoor, collection, competitive, and observation hobbies. Everyone in the world can find something on this vast list that they can try. In reading this list, maybe you will recall a hobby that you enjoyed doing when you were young or discover a new interest that you would like to explore.
Here is another list of “50 of the Most Interesting Hobbies to Try This Year.”
Consider hobbies from the local culture—learn to play the lute, join a club with local friends, find out what your neighbors do for fun and join them . . .
Friends: Some hobbies can only be done “solo,” like writing, drawing, reading . . . However, you can bring a friend or companion along with you for most hobbies. Ask your spouse or a local friend what they like to do, and see if any of your interests overlap. Sometimes, having someone join you brings greater motivation and accountability.
Guilt: Doing activities for fun, pleasure, and enjoyment isn’t selfish. It is actually really healthy. Taking some time away to relax and have fun can actually make you more productive when you get back to work and other responsibilities.
What are the Benefits of Having a Hobby?
—Relieve stress
—Build your self-confidence
—Become a more interesting person
—Find a new passion
—Hone your skills
—Create new social connections
—Bring in additional income
Photo by Juliet Furst on Unsplash
Alissa Lastres, a Nationally Certified Counselor with a focus on emerging adulthood, names “three mental health benefits of pursuing a hobby.”
1. Regaining a sense of control.
2. Feeling accomplished.
3. Finding purpose and meaning.
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
My Own Story Continues . . .
Remember, I said, “I no longer had time for me and the things I enjoyed doing. I couldn’t even remember what I enjoyed doing.”
It took a time away from work—a time of rest—for me to reflect on my life. In a sense, I had forgotten how to “live.” I no longer had fun—on my own, with my spouse, with my children, with my friends. I could work easily, but I didn’t know how to have fun anymore.
I needed space to be able to find myself again.
During this time of reflection, I pulled out my dusty guitar case from the closet and started strumming my “old friend.” It felt good. I met some new friends from Mexico and asked them to help me learn some Spanish. We started a conversation class at the local coffeeshop. It felt good. I bought a new journal and started writing on its fresh, white pages—not writing about work, but writing for me, for fun, for enjoyment. It felt good.
I had been neglecting myself. I had forgotten that I needed hobbies, fun, pleasure to “feed my soul” and “fill my cup.”
The benefits I reaped went way beyond fun. I found joy. I found energy. I found purpose. I found meaning.
What about you? Have you forgotten how to have fun? Why not look at these lists, choose an inexpensive hobby to try, find a friend to join the ride, and have fun!
