What in the World is Emotional Intelligence?
Photo by Bret Kavanaugh on Unsplash
I sat on the edge of our bed and cried. It was time to pack up and leave our home, our friends, our life in North Africa. I felt overwhelmed by my emotions—almost paralyzed.
“I can’t do this,” I told my husband.
“You have to manage your emotions right now. There will be a time to grieve, but right now, we just have to get through this situation. You can break down later if you have to.”
My husband was obviously much better than me at managing his emotions under pressure. I could feel my emotions stirring deeply within me. If I looked in a mirror, my feelings would show all over my face and all over my body. I couldn’t hide them.
I’ve been told that I “wear my emotions on my sleeve.”
I would like to become more aware of my emotions and learn how to manage them better—especially in times of crisis and stress—but how?
“It’s all about emotional intelligence,” my husband told me.
“What’s that?” I asked.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
The term “emotional intelligence” was first coined in 1995 by psychologist and science journalist David Goleman. His idea and new concept took off and began to greatly influence how people around the world think about human behavior and emotions.
Harvard Extension School defines emotional intelligence as “the ability to, say, understand your effect on others and manage yourself accordingly.”
Three Skills in Emotional Intelligence:
The ability to identify and name one’s own emotions—emotional awareness—both positive and negative.
The ability to channel one’s emotions and apply them to tasks such as problem solving and thinking.
The ability to manage one’s emotions—regulating them when necessary and helping others do the same.
Managing one’s own emotions can be especially challenging in cross-cultural settings, as well as trying to interpret the emotions of others. Looking through cultural barriers and through the lens of our own culture, we may misinterpret others’ emotions. Our emotions may also be misread by the locals of our host culture.
In addition, while living under the daily stress of a cross-cultural environment—one in which our cultural values may be challenged and poked more than usual—our emotions may get triggered often.
Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash
The first step to emotional intelligence is identifying and naming our emotions.
Use our See Beyond Emotions Charts in three languages.
Emotional Quotient
Emotional intelligence is sometimes referred to as Emotional Quotient (EQ). It is becoming more and more globally recognized, with many companies now incorporating emotional intelligence assessments into their job application and interview processes. It is believed that workers with higher emotional intelligence are better coworkers and leaders.
Some say that having a high emotional quotient (EQ) is a greater marker of success in life than a high intelligence quotient (IQ). It usually indicates greater empathy towards others, better understanding of oneself, and the ability to to regulate one’s emotions and to keep them from exploding in unhealthy ways.
How Can I Find Out if I Have It?
I found this free online Global Emotional Intelligence Test, based on Global Leadership Foundation’s Global EI Capability Assessment Instrument. The assessment is built on Goleman’s four quadrant Emotional Intelligence Competency Model.
Self-Awareness: includes emotional self-awareness, accurate self assessment, self-confidence
Self-Management: self-control, transparency, adaptability, achievement orientation, initiative
Social Awareness: empathy, organizational awareness, service orientation
Relationship Management: visionary leadership, developing others, influence, change catalyst, conflict management, building bonds, teamwork and collaboration
I think I’m starting to get a better grasp of what my husband was talking about when he said, “It’s all about emotional intelligence.” Now, I need to understand if I have it. If not, I want to know how I can begin to grow and develop in this area. I want to be the best version of myself—that includes my emotions!
To get started with the self awareness involved in emotional intelligence, take the free assessment, Global Emotional Intelligence Test, and take a look at See Beyond’s Emotions Charts (in multiple languages) to begin recognizing, identifying, and feeling your emotions.
Guest author, Marci Renée, along with her French husband and four boys, is a global nomad who has traveled to more than 30 countries and has lived in the United States, France, Morocco, and Spain. She loves to travel, speak foreign languages, experience different cultures, eat ethnic foods, meet people from faraway lands, and of course, write and tell stories. She is a published author of children's picture books, memoirs, short stories, and poetry.
You can find Marci and her books on her website.
"The Cultural Story-Weaver," at www.culturalstoryweaver.com